It's inevitable. You have a child and things change. Your schedule changes, your body changes (ohhh how it changes...), and your heart grows to hold more love than you could ever imagine you were capable of having.
Also among those things that change are your priorities and what you want out of life, particularly in regards to your family.
Not too long ago I answered some survey questions on how I found out I was knocked up and one in particular that inquired as to how many prospective babes the hubs and I wanted.
Don't remember? Click here.
"3 or 4...ask me again in October! :)", I answered giddily.
Ready? Ask me again.
New Answer: 2 might be just fine. 4? Umm... ::insert hysterical laughter::
Not because having a baby is difficult - though it can absolutely prove to be tough at times- but now that our girl is here and is the greatest part of our lives I want to make sure we can be the greatest parents for her. I know that no matter how many children we have, we will love them all to pieces and life will be awesome, but I already worry about being able to be there for things as they grow. I want to be at all of her ballet classes and be the parent who can chaperone Girl Scout camping trips and watch all of her soccer games or be at every swim meet.
Since I work full-time, I already have started to feel like my time with Grace has been compromised. Seriously- what daycare class for infants/toddlers sends your kid home with a calendar that includes "Parents Come in and Read Day!!!". Umm...my 5 month old is in your care all day because I can't be home with her....annnddd now I feel like a jerk because she hasn't even been on this earth for half a year and I'm already missing things. I know this is a silly example- but see- its already starting!
And if you read my last post, obviously if someone can't remember that the one child we have now is sitting in the back of the car, we should probably not be trusted with too many more...!
(Can you tell I'm not ever going to let that one go?)
What are your thoughts on the size of your families (or potential families)? Any reasoning behind it? I'd love to hear what other people think! Don't be shy, comments are fun...even if I know you in real life and talk to you on the phone about things that are posted. ;)
Great post! I wrote a very similar one a couple of months ago. I work full-time, too and sometimes I feel like a big fat mom-fail. I can't imagine missing a single activity/sport/whatever that C participates in!
ReplyDeleteHaha I totally feel called out with the wink at the end of this post. My guess is I'd want between 2-3 kids. 2 is my gut feeling, 3 is because I'm one of three siblings and can't imagine it not being any other way!
ReplyDeleteWell I think you'd know my answer. However, after nannying, and teaching my number slowly decreases. Not because I don't want that many but like you said... I don't want to spread myself too thin so that I can't give ALL of myself to each little nugget. You're a wonderful mother Heather! G is a lucky lady:) (My parents left me at daycare and just picked up my sister when I was a baby... it's a part of the process I feel like!) At least he didn't actually leave her.. ahah:)
ReplyDeleteYou are doing amazingly H, one of my favorite posts was the one when Dan was in the field and it was the first time you were home with Grace and the pups alone and you let us know you worked out, took care of yourself, the house, the pups and Grace and were celebrating by having a glass of wine and “patting yourself on your new mom back.” As soon as I read this most recent post I thought of Terri and how she always worked as Emily, Neal and I grew up. We all know my opinion on this situation and a lot of that has to do with growing up with a working mother. My mom never missed a soccer game, swim meet or cross country meet and dinner was always on the table. What I remember about growing up was not the times my mom wasn’t there but all the times she was. I didn’t care that she wasn’t there to make our lunches or put us on the bus but loved to look up in the stands and see her in her Grafton t-shirt cheering me on while I played soccer. As an adult I continue to think back on how impressive my mother was and how independent she made all of us by being there just enough to keep us in line and support us but also letting us become our own people. Working mothers are incredible so just remember how awesome you are when you get home tonight and have that glass of wine because you deserve it. Love you!
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