I have a work trip coming up...pending a few major decisions that are out of my control. I thought about trying to not travel for the next oh, 18 years, but I realized that counting myself out of things like this would be potentially detrimental to the success of my career. With that in mind I pushed to get my travel approved and all of the details in order. I guess essentially, I made it happen for myself. I don't want to be the girl that can't be counted on for future positions or opportunities, so I did what I could to show that I would be willing to go.
This trip would bring me back to my old stomping grounds, allow me to stay with a couple of my best girls for a few days, and most importantly, allow me to sleep through the night without interruption (I kid).
Problem?
I want to vomit every time I think about the possibility of having to leave the baby for four days.
I'm pretty sure that is normal, but seriously, the nausea is killing me. D is actually not in the field for the week, so it would be a nice role reversal for him to experience what I do while he is gone each month. I don't worry about his ability to handle it all. He's awesome. I just worry about everything else. What if my plane goes down? What if I Grace crawls while I'm gone? What if she forgets me and starts to like D more? (Petty, I know.) What if something happens to her and I'm not here? I could go on and on...
The worst part is thinking that if something did happen, it would be my fault for pushing to go on this trip.
I think I need to just take the plunge and do something like this independently. I can't even tell you how it makes me feel to think about leaving Grace in the care of someone other than D or myself if we were to possibly ever take a trip together (maybe make up for that honeymoon we missed out on eventually). I know I can't wait forever to trust her care to someone else...and we have had our parents babysit before- but I was 30 minutes away- not a plane ride. Maybe this would be a step in the right direction?
Any thoughts out there? Anyone take a trip or have some sort of experience leaving their child for the first time? I could use some encouragement.
xo,
H
I don't have a child... that I know of but from mommies I do know they all struggle with this. I think you're in the right frame of mind with taking the plunge! It's always hard to take make the decisions to do it but once you've done it you know you and the fam can handle it:) Skype is awesome too!:) MIss and love you... excited to see you when you come back!
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