Captain Daddy

D was promoted on Tuesday. He is now officially "El Capitan". We are very proud of our daddy! :) Grace and I attended his promotion ceremony Tuesday morning and both were sporting cute, cotton summer dresses. We left the house appropriately dressed, EARLY even, and obviously our good fortune was too good to be true...

Everything took place on an open field outside and we are in Louisiana in late June, so although it was scheduled to take place early at 8:30 am, we knew it would be a little warm.

Fast forward to 8:40 - Things haven't started yet, Grace is fussy, we forgot the nipple to her bottle, and I am starting to glow. I try to force feed puffs in hopes that they distract her. No dice.

8:50- Things begin, Grace has a bottle we borrowed (new and clean!) from a child development center nearby, but refuses to drink out of it. Instead she's giving me the stink eye for even dreaming of trying to pass some other baby's bottle off as her own and retaliates by wiggling and letting out random cries.

8:55 - People are telling me I should go up and pin D's new rank on him when the time comes. D and I haven't discussed this, but whatever, I do what I'm told and get ready. I'm holding a 22 lb hot pocket on my hip and am desperately bouncing her around and singing dumb songs to try and keep her from becoming the star of the show. (Too late.)

9:00 - I am sweating profusely, look like I ran through a sprinkler and literally have boob, stomach, back, and probably booty sweat marks on my dress. They show. Awesome.

9:05 - An old lady tells me she is a Grandma and offers to take my baby. I oblige her and desperately try to cool off. Sweat stains do not dry when you are standing in 98 degree heat. Neither does my hair that has now become a life of it's own and looks like it is trying to win the contest for frizziest weave on post. Eff my life.

9:07 - Some random guy in a beret tells me to go up font because it's D's turn next. I awkwardly approach. Apparently D has asked his Battalion Commander (imagine a really high up boss for those of you in the civilian world) to pin him since I clearly had my hands full with our child. Now I am standing in front of 100+ dudes, look like I'm in a redneck wet tee shirt contest and am ruining the ceremony. I quickly pray for a random bolt of lightening to strike me down, with no luck.

9:07 and 30 seconds - Someone yells to the Battalion Commander that I should be pinning D. He rips off D's new rank and gives it to me, apologizing. (What are you apologizing for? My unfortunate appearance?) I slap it crookedly in place and then give D a meek "Congratulations...?" I try to hightail it outta there, but get asked, "Don't you want us to take a picture?"

NO. No I do not.

And we didn't. And we have no pictures of the day to share because after it was done and I was silently cursing myself for being so airheaded and probably sweating on D's boss, D gave us all a once over and declared that we could put the photo sesh on hold. My mom points went down a few notches that morning.

But needless to say, no matter how crazy the morning was, we were so happy to get to see D's promotion and silver lining? There was someone taking photos for the Battalion, so they do have a few shots of D and probably my sweaty ass that we will get a hold of eventually.

Yay.

xo,
H